


There's never a time-machine when you need one

by deargodwhatisthatthing



Category: Gintama
Genre: A metric ton of swearing, ALL THE FLUFF, Clumsy Sakamoto, Fifteen Minute Fic, Fluff and Humor, Gen, very silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2016-11-25
Packaged: 2018-09-02 03:12:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8649352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deargodwhatisthatthing/pseuds/deargodwhatisthatthing
Summary: Mutsu’s diary, here on the desk?  Well, what’s a guy to do, huh?  Ah ha ha! Ah ha hahahahah!   No, seriously, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO





	

Mutsu!  Mutsu?  I’m coming in!  I hope you’re not doing anything private, ah ha ha ha ha ha ha! 

No Mutsu.  Hmm.  Off working on something else, I suppose.  Work, work, work – she’s a busy girl, ha ha!  Place wouldn’t run without her.   What would I do without her?  Nothing of any use, I suppose.  Still, she’s not doing paperwork, because that’s all here.  What nice neat piles!  So pleasing.  Maybe I’ll help her with her work.

Oh, they don’t look quite so neat now.  Hmm.  Still, if you want to make an omelette, you have to crack some eggs.   Perhaps I can take a look at the accounts book.  Accounts book, accounts book.  Here it is!  No, it’s not.  That’s a diary.

That’s Mutsu’s diary...

…

Ohhhhhh.  Mutsu’s _diary_.  _MUTSU’S_ diary.  Mustn’t look.  That would be terrible.  _Awful_.  An abuse of trust, absolutely. 

Kinda want to look, though, ha ha! 

I’m not going to look.  Maybe I could just draw a little picture on the corner of every page – make a flick book!  It could be me waving at Mutsu!  That would be hilarious!  And fatal.  Mustn’t do it. 

Might be something about me in there. 

Or maybe there’s not something about me.  Maybe there’s something about somebody else.  Like… like that asshole Tamaki with the nice hair?  Does Mutsu like nice hair?  You idiot, Tatsuma, everyone likes nice hair.  That _bastard_.  I’ll transfer him to cargo.   

She’s probably going to think I looked at it anyway, though, now everything’s been moved, and it’s out in the open.  I’d better put everything back.  Pretend I didn’t see it. 

That goes here, this one went there.  Or there.  Somewhere there….  Oh well, good enough.  One more…

OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT  FUCKING BASTARD COFFEE CUP WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT DOING THERE OHSHITBASTARDBOLLOCKSFUCKINGSHIT.

Oh god oh _god_ , it’s everywhere.  EVERYWHERE.  That was literally a vat of coffee, who drinks that much coffeeeeeee?!  how does she even fit that much coffee inside her?!  She must be 90% caffeine – and how is there more paper now than there was before?  Maybe it’s not on the diar - _it’s all over the diary._

And is that a handwritten letter?!  Oh god, no, don’t say it was a love letter?  The ink –it’s just a blur now!!  A precious love letter – maybe poor Mutsu’s only love letter – and it’s destroyed – and she will cry and then _I’ll_ cry and then _she’ll break every bone in my body_.   

Where the hell is Kintoki when you need him – he’d have a time machine or something that might help. 

Look, just be calm.  BE CALM.  Maybe she’ll find it funny.  Maybe you can just laugh it off. Ah ha haha.  Ah ha ha haahahahaha!  AH HAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHAOHGOD SHE WILL DESTROY ME.  There will be nothing left to bury.  They’ll ask “where’s Tatsuma?” and she’ll say “I don’t know, he must have left forever” and all that will remain will be _whatever she hasn’t flossed from between her teeth yet_. 

Oh GOD.  I can hear her coming.  There’s only one thing I can do. 

 

 

_Mutsu’s personal log: 25 November,16:27_

Walked into the fifth deck office today to find Sakamoto sobbing and eating my appointments book.  He was also clutching a soggy flapjack recipe while swearing he hadn’t read it.

He really is an idiot. 

Why am I in love with him, exactly?

 


End file.
